Daily and Weekly Schedule
June 19, 2019
Doing It All
As moms we are more inclined to do it all. It seems there is something in the wiring of women – giving up control is difficult. But then when we have 100% control and do everything all the time - everyone comes to expect us to continue even on days where we are sick or extra busy or just tired. And then the resentfulness begins. I have to empty the dishwasher again? I have to fold all of the laundry? I have to cook dinner every night? I have to prep lunches for tomorrow? I have to make coffee every single morning? Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.
Cue the frustration, tears, and silent treatment towards those who don’t help, and the belief that if I were to stop doing all of these things, the house would implode on itself.
Cue the need for a daily and weekly schedule.
And Then I Broke
This used to be me – in a way. I didn’t feel like I was doing EVERYTHING but I felt I was doing more than Ian. But this is to no fault of Ian. It wasn’t because he wouldn’t help or didn’t want to – it was because I wasn’t letting him help. I wanted to do it all because lord help my anxiety when he would fold the laundry. Did you actually try and fold my shirt or did it just end up as a blob at the bottle of my dresser? And after Ian prepped lunches who felt the need to clean up after him? Me! Was Ian capable of cleaning the kitchen after using it? Of course. It was just me being a control freak. It was me not being able to ask for help.
But we all break at some point and I broke. It got to the point where I would rather have help and blobs of clothes in my dresser than other feel resentful. It got to the point where I needed to ask for help. I needed to let go of control.
Thus, came our daily/weekly calendar. After discussing what “To Do’s” we could share more equally so I didn’t feel overwhelmed, this is the list we came up with:
- Emptying the dishwasher
- Prepping lunches
- Prepping coffee for the morning
- Getting Collin’s bottles ready for the next day
The Daily and Weekly Schdule Breakdown
Laundry – We switch off every other week. We help each other with washing and drying the clothes but the folding and putting away is 100% that person’s responsibility. Also, I did communicate my frustration over the way he folded the laundry, and he applied (thankfully) my pleading advice. Yes, the clothes still aren’t the exact way I’d fold them, but that’s OK! It means that I free up 1.5 hours every other week because I don’t have to do it.
Bottles, Lunches and Coffee – We switch off every other day.
Emptying Dishwasher – We write our names down on a list and cross off our names after we empty the dishwasher.
It’s important to keep your partner accountable. After we empty the dishwasher, it’s our responsibility to cross our own name off. If we don’t, then we have to empty the dishwasher again the next time. A few weeks ago, Ian forgot to cross his name off multiple times in a row. You know what that meant? He got stuck emptying the dishwasher about 3 times back to back!
I would expect him to keep me accountable, so I didn’t feel too bad. Plus, the process needs to stay consistent, otherwise we would end up right back to where we were – me emptying the dishwasher because I didn’t want to “nag” or ask him to do it. Obviously, there are times (when Ian is especially busy at work or I’m sick) when one of us just empties the dishwasher without crossing our name off. That way we will have to do it an extra time, but that’s up to our discretion and not done very often.
We keep the calendar in our room so it’s easy to reference. We also write down any extra information we may want to know (when someone is working late, book club nights, early meetings). Date nights are also written down so we can see what nights to look forward to!
Not For Everyone
Keep in mind this calendar isn’t for everyone. But it works beautifully for Ian and I. Now, our “To Do’s” are a lot more equally divided, Ian’s happier because I’m not resentful for my inability to ask for help, and I get more time to do what I want, whether that be watch a show, read my book, play with Owen, or bake some brownies.
hi, I'm leslie
Whether it's through nutrition, mindfulness, spending more time with family, setting monthly goals, or just finding the things that make us happy in life, finding balance is the ultimate goal. Join me as I try and find balance in my own life.
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